As I continue to breeze through my book the Power of Now I come to a standstill.
I'm holding firmly onto a few memories that were so good that I often wish I could return to them and change and or relive them. Perhaps if I would have reacted a certain way the outcome would be different. Or if I had been more open with my heart, more honest with feelings I could have avoided the pain I've felt as of late.
However, I can't go back and I may have pushed away a few things that I really wanted in my life. Call it fear or distrust, they are items I'm sure I share with many people who have issues opening up their hearts.
On the outside, vigor and zest omit from my being, in a state of alone and content. However attractive this can be to those around you, and then once punctured by a love bite, tend to retreat into the cave of safety.
This is far easier than opening up, it's safe and incredibly freeing. I have latched onto this because it's power is amazing and so soothing to my heart. Serial monogamy is no longer in view and so I say, "What Valentine?"
My first year without a Valentine is not painful or lacking. Rather a celebration of self and a deep realization that loving you can be an achievement all on it's own. You sit back and reflect on love you've had, moments you've shared and perhaps a few kisses that took your breath away. I think I did actually gasp for air, yep, that good. Holy gratitude, right?!
For my fellow singles who are content in being so, cheers to you for being so brave and learning to live life alone. I'd like to say that you will appreciate any love or affections ten times more than you have in the past, just wait for it to come when the time is right.
Embracing alone is tough, but you are really hardly alone. I've noticed that as I have come to center myself in this world, I see people differently. I can feel the vibe out in a room and immediately share a smile with a stranger or a side conversation. When I walk into a store, bar or restaurant I am open and willing to chat with just about anyone who glances my way. I appreciate the little things that others give me, no matter how small they might be are worth more than gold.
Meditation relaxes me so much that I can't even believe I used to live without!
I took a Yoga class in the city a week ago and found myself in some tears in the beginning because I really have been extremely hard on myself lately and it hit me how much of a waste that energy was in my body. Expelled and kicked to the curb you go, bad energy! =)
I suppose I'm writing this because my heart is healed. I'm taking a road less traveled and continue on until something grand presents itself before me.
It bothers me when people give up on love, it's sad as well to grow a stone heart due to pain. Please don't fear it when it comes calling. I still believe there is a love out there built perfectly for you...Whether you find it at 35, 55 or 80....Some things in life are indeed worth the patience and time.
Happiest of Valentines my friends and remember to smile, you never know who is watching you from afar.