Tuesday, January 3, 2017

Who is The One?

 Many of us have been in several relationships and I can bet that we have all wondered when it ends; meaning when do you find the one? What is the one? If marriage will fail and end in divorce, and I believed that person to be the one- then what the hell just happened?

My new realization of today is that I will never meet the one. Instead I will attract into my life what fits in the current situation I stand in. Whether I am a free spirit or in relationship mode, the vibe I give off will bring to me the type of men I parallel with at that present time. You should never alter your being to fit a mold or to appease another person. Be true to yourself always.

It irks me when I see relationships fail because of infidelity. I can't quite wrap my head around it; however I do know one thing must be true, these people needed to walk away a long time ago but couldn't quite do it.

When two people break up because of life changes or wanting different things it makes all the sense in the world. We have to follow our hearts no matter what the circumstance, and sometimes when we get so caught up in our relationships we forget our personal wants and needs to the point that we will still force something to work and so begins the slow decline of passion in the relationship. When we get away from our significant other we have time to process everything and see it more clearly. I remember moments where I would sit in the bathroom and say to myself, this is not my life. Or even bigger moments when I would cry myself to sleep out of frustration.

So bare with me when I say the one thing no one really wants to hear, you may break up. But quite frankly, its not the end of the world. The bigger deal is the chance you get to connect with another human being that will teach you more and more about life and love. It's hard for me to even cope with typing this because I've finally realized how much time I spent designing my dream wedding, my house, my family... But I have to admit, society has placed the majority of this in my head. If I take a step back and review my previous relationships I can see a trend in my thought process with marriage being the end goal, when the reality is that I get to share my life with a person who adds to the zest and betterment of me! Someone to laugh with, to share wine with and even a dance under the stars. This is what is important to me and I see no end goal in sight, the only thing I envision now is happiness.

So for each moment you've shared, given your heart and time to another human being do not act in haste when it suddenly shifts. I would bare in mind the change in season, the mood and have a kind adult conversation about your personal wants and needs. Listen to your significant other and react using your heart, hear them out completely with dedication; after all this is the person you love.

Maybe the above is easier said than done? We never know how our emotions will play out in our future relationships.

I suppose since I am enjoying my new found single-hood it may be easier for me to write this, but what I really hope for is that when my heart has met its match again I can bring all of my new found thought processes into it.

I know how tricky love can be, and that most of us get angry when our partner pulls away or are not in line with what we need. Communication is so important with love and being honest as well- no one is a mind reader by any means, yes even if we think we dropped major hints.

Having this time to reflect has been really valuable to me- I hope that by sharing some of my thoughts you may find it to be helpful to you as well (after all that is the point of my blog), to hopefully inspire in some form or bring clarity to your current situation.

Wishing you all the best life has to offer, that you will take control of your own actions and know that you can do and be whoever you want. Meditate and envision your life, your love and your heart. Read books that lift, articles that explore and talk with people about the world! Open your mind to laughter, sharing smiles and being vulnerable. Kiss slowly and touch softly. Be present and aware.

All the kindness in my heart to you.

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