Wednesday, June 22, 2016

Controlling your mind and thoughts-Brain v. Heart

Someone once told me it's possible to quiet the mind to the point of relaxation that slows your heart rate so much it feels as if it's not even beating. While in a literal sense this may sound scary, I took it an entirely different way. While dealing with heartbreak, often times we feel our hearts shiver and shake with every memory that seeps into it. It's a terrible thing to go through- especially after spending so much time and energy into one person on this planet. They become an extension of your family, in fact they are family.

I met with a fellow musician and friend last week who spoke so openly about relationships and also an interesting fact he pointed out to me was that of human beings being alone or separated from friends and family for an extremely long amount of time. What that really does to us and makes us feel is that we are without our tribe. There are places on this planet where an entire village will raise a child. Places where you live in packs and this is and always was the way we have existed (Depending on your belief). We need one another to survive and once someone from our tribe is separated from us we can feel utterly lost and upset. This rule is also applied to those who serve in wars, when they return to home after being with their fellow soldiers this can also cause a lot of pain because the society they are returning to is nothing of which they have just experienced in a state of war:
Sebastian Junger Examines Veteran Life After Leaving 'Tribe'

I really liked the above article, and while this post is not necessarily about PTSD, I wanted to touch on it because it sparked an idea in my mind about forcing a relationship to end.

You have every single right to feel traumatized, to feel confused, hurt, lost and a little bit crazy. Your body and soul is now adjusting to life without this person in it. You are fighting to fill a void that honestly will never be filled like it was before, BUT it will be filled eventually in a different way over that beautiful word that you will always hear "TIME".

Tick tock, tick tock...I keep watching the days pass by, and while I try to live in the moments I'm still longing for 6 months to fly. That is really not the best way to approach this and it never will be, this beautifully painful ride is all you will have as a tool to heal and creating new moments with people who bring out the best in you will show you who you are and what you can become.

Lately I have taken to music as a healer for me and it's been wonderful letting all those words fly out without too much effort or analysis. I have my awesome band to thank for that!

Work is also another place where you can get lost and let your mind focus on the task at hand. Using creativity to organize yourself and of course make sure to check-in to see if anyone needs a hand is a great way to keep yourself busy and useful.

Self coaching is another great addition to keeping your mind in check and your emotions calm. I have found many online vlogs to listen to in the morning as I get ready. Some are a bit cheesy but they really help at reassuring you that life will be ok as it is and it keeps your focus positive as the future unfolds.

Find a hobby, join a sports team, lose yourself in something for a few hours at a time! These are all good things that I promise will give your mind the healing it needs to survive the storm and eventually the heart will follow. <3

Smile to the sky and hug yourself people, you're all you've got!

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