Tuesday, May 3, 2016

Being your own Hero: Not as easy as it seems

When I sat there completely helpless and confused, dazed almost in a state of  loss and utter sadness. Staring at the wall in tears and wondered if there was any way possible that I could get out of this hole I was in. The walls seemed terribly high and I could hardly see the light ahead but there was something, something lurking before me. A little thing called "hope."

Inviting a new adventure into your life is what I call a rescue. It's a moment when you completely lose yourself in pain that your body decides that it needs help by shouting out to you in so many ways that you absolutely need to alleviate it as fast as possible. That was the moment in my life when I picked myself up and became my own hero and went back to school.

I was stuck in a dead-end career and I found myself always day dreaming of bigger and better things for myself. But I had negative people in my life that did not believe in me, they were thorns in my side that reminded me of past failures and a track record that wasn't exactly the best material for success. But how do unsuccessful people turn their lives around? I'm almost positive that there are thousands of successful people out there who did not always have everything handed to them on a silver platter and possibly failed multiple times but then finally arrived at a moment where they were slapped in the face with reality and in came that hero, themselves!

There is a voice inside all of us that is there to protect us and serve a positive purpose in our lives. You know when you're about to settle you can hear it whispering that this is not what you really want and you are simply falling into a pattern again.

I broke my pattern and went back to school at 26. Hands down the best 3 years of my life were at SF State.The keys to success and becoming your own hero are guided by social intelligence; which I spoke about in my previous post. I sat there in a state of loss and then turned to a fear, looked it in the eye and said "I'm not scared anymore, I'm going for it!"

I was recently inspired by a book that I began last week called "POWER" by Jeffrey Pfeffer. I'm only in the beginnings of the book, however I'm already moved by his writing and expression about how we must realize that life is not "Just." That because we are kind people does not always lead to success, that if we follow rules and stay in the same position eventually we will be rewarded a promotion. In no way is he saying to be a "jerk", but we must learn to chase what we want- in the same sense becoming our own hero. If someone says stay here for 5 years and you'll be promoted, you should think about saying "I will gain my own promotion years before that." Lack of authenticity in leaders who write other books of success is also made pretty clear in Pfeffer's book. The items that are perhaps hidden are the moments when these great leaders may have possibly acted as their own hero and did what they could to rise above others. Of course why would a great leader write a book expressing all of his/her dark secrets or jeopardize their name by expelling all authentic actions that would make them look bad in the media. It's tough but we may never really know all the real truths, but what we can conclude is that we are living our own and can control those by allowing our inner hero to surface in all scenario's of life.

Passionate people are excellent to have around to stir up the inner hero in all of us. You know when you sit down with a friend who has worked really hard to achieve all that they have in life and you suddenly feel that hero inside you saying, "I want that too! I should follow my dreams to get there!"

I hate to say this or end in a negative sounding way, but eventually that voice becomes quieter and quieter. Time passes and the hero in us starts to become a part of us that is content with the way things are. We may struggle and re-live moments where we were most happy and passionate and to me that is depressing, I think we should have those moments in our current state of being and not look back so much. Wake up your hero and listen carefully. It won't always be easy or even successful but the main objective is to live without much fear and fight for what you want.


"If you can find no one to become your ideal to aspire to, no one to be your ultimate example, your idol, your motivation- don't fret! You can and you must become your own ultimate aspiration, you own example, your own idol, ideal, motivation! You go and be what you haven't found yet!"
 - JoyBell C.







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